motheringboys - Author Home - gender disappointment, boys, girls, all one gender, depression, pregnancy, baby

Remember
When things get tough, and they will, believe me. There will be days that you ask yourself why you wanted to procreate at all, let alone choose to raise these kids and love them until the day we leave this great Earth. Last night bordered on one of those nights. Two boys bundled up to drive 30 minutes away so that Mom could sit through a teenage boy's rock band concert. Free tickets in hand, and grumbling boys who wanted to stay home and play outside, off we went. Blake is Cullen's guitar teacher and it is his band. We sit and wait. Watching the antics of teenagers. My boys glued to their seats. Cullen's eyes never leaving Blake wherever he may roam. Or Blake's brother. When the band starts, two boys become mesmerized. Blake becomes idolized. I have never seen Cullen be so still. At intermission he goes to the stage to talk to Blake, his eyes shining. He turns to me and smiles. This smile is undescribable. Life shines from his face, his eyes are glittering and his smile speaks volumes of awe, excitement, pride, and a new love for music. (which by the way I cannot understand a word of but it does have a good beat) A mother's moment of "Ah-Ha"ness comes out. This is why I drove 30 min. This is why I sat on this fold out chair eating stale cookies. This is why I brought two grumbling little boys to a concert I didn't really want to go to either. Cullen will remember that night forever. And me, well, I will remember that smile. The one that made it all worth it.
Posted on 3/21/2009
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A Good Laugh
As I am getting more comfortable in my "boy mom" skin, I am finding things make me giggle more than usual. Take yesterday...I was at a local jewelry store looking at some items that were there for a trunk show. Liam was playing with some toys at the end of the counter. Minding his own business when in comes this older gentleman. He is carrying a broken clock and one of the ladies is directing him around Liam so he doesn't trip on him. He glances down and says loudly.."My heavens! Someone needs to cut that boy's hair!!! In MY day, no respectable parent would let their son walk around looking like that! What is the world coming to??" grumble grumble grumble as he walks to the back. At this time all heads swivel to me. I just smiled and slightly giggled. Who knew that longer hair on a boy would cause such a rukus. Who knew that the ladies in there expected me to do something about it. But I just picked out some jewelry and headed to the back. Where the sweet old man was STILL grumbling about Liam's hair. Smiling, I just patted his shoulder and said.."I'm sorry, Sir, that the length of my son's hair upsets you. Would it help you to know that I wanted a girl but had my third boy. So while he is young, I am allowing myself this one joy, to let his hair be long. One day I will cut it off, I promise." He just looked at me with sweet eyes. And said.."Ah, little Mommy, as long as one day you give him a respectable haircut, what does it matter? He's just a little boy." Yep...he is. Just A Little Boy. With long hair......;)
Posted on 3/20/2009
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Boys Are....
Does this ever irk you? How people make inferences about your child's innate behavior because of their gender? Boys are loud! Girls are gentle. Boys are busy! Girls are polite. Whatever! I heard it again today. How "different" boys are from girls. How busy boys are. How loud. How into everything. How it's new territory. Her daughter isn't like that. Well, then maybe it's about being a second child and nothing about his gender. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. My fight. My feelings. How I sometimes just want to be a smart aleck and say..."I wouldn't know!" My children are each different. Aren't yours? My oldest is the quiet, watchful one. The pleaser. The polite one. My second in the busy one. The loud one. He talks to hear himself speak. He vibrates in place. Our baby is still evolving. :) He can be quiet. He can sit quietly. He talks. He laughs. He can play for a long time on his own with no outside interaction. All boys. All different. This is something I know. If you want to make comments, and I hope you do, AuthorHouse tells me that you have to join. You don't have to be an author and it's free but in order to have access to post comments, they want you to be a member so there are no drive bys...which I guess only boys would do, huh? ;)
Posted on 2/25/2009
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New Experience
Well today was a first for me. In our church there is this adorable little girl Isis. I have adopted her as my own for church time, and she me. She calls me Mom, I call her Sweetheart. I know, probably not healthy to encourage a 5 year old to call someone else that is not even related her "Mom," but in my defense, she started it. I tried to sway her to my name by reinforcing "Ms. Kathy" but she could not be waylaid so I gave up. For the hours of 9-11am on Sunday, I am "Mom" to a 5 yr old girl. As she sits on my lap, chews the gum from my purse and calls my boys her brothers, I bask in the joy of running my fingers through her brown hair and smiling at her angelic face. Well, today, she gave me a first. She went through my purse. I mean...through it! She took out make up and put it on herself and me. She put on lipstick and chapstick. She took a dollar. She chewed gum. She used bandaids. She added memos on my phone. She took out ink pens and tampons (gasp!) and put on lotion. She used the hand sanatizer and looked at herself in the mirror. My husband stared over in horror! What was going on?? I just smiled realizing that in my almost 10 years as a boy mom, NO ONE has ever gone through my purse. Heck, my husband brings the whole bag to me when he needs something out of it. I have never had tiny hands go through each compartment. I have never had any fear that my female products would be brought out for display. It just hasn't happened. So, today, I thank my sweet Isis for that experience. May it never happen again. LOL!
Posted on 2/15/2009
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Girlfriends
If there is anything I am learning on this walk through boydom in my life, it's how important my girl friends are to me. Whether they have daughters or not, just having that female companionship of someone who "gets it" seems to boost my soul. This weekend I had the greatest time with my friend Nina. Sitting at a table, sharing laughs, advice, stories...reminding me how important she is to me and how much I enjoy her. I wonder, if I had had a daughter, would I have reached out so far for girl friends? Or wouldI have just gotten that need met at home? With a little mini me to hang out with? I often ask myself that question but do not have an answer. I am very glad that I have stepped out of the box though and grasped ahold of some great friends through the years. Friends who have become so important to me and my family. Friends who know me and like me all the same. I encourage you all to reach out. To find friends that fill your spirit and your life with joy. Friends who give as much as they take. Friends who hold you up and cheer you on. Friends who know your soul but love you anyway. There is no greater gift. Truly....I have been blessed.
Posted on 2/7/2009
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