carrielee10 - Author Home - 1425930174,9781434369,Always in my Heart,Fiction , Romance , Contemporary,Fiction , Romance , General,James- Keaton Carrie,Keaton Carrie,story, writer, author, novel, literature,Two Loves, One Heart,book,author,free website,free author website,free book website

First 3 Chapters of Two Loves, One Heart
TWO LOVES, ONE HEARTbyCarrie J. Keaton Chapter 1 I felt like I was on top of the world ---- I, Lynnette Thomas, was now Mrs. William Matthews. We had the most beautiful lawn ceremony. My eyes swept over our guests who had been a part of the most wonderful day of my life ---- my wedding ceremony. Smiling happily and gazing over the crowd, I could see that everyone was clearly enjoying themselves----eating, laughing, talking, and drinking. The clamor from everyone talking and the laughter seemed to fade into the background, as my mind entered a portal in time when Billy and I first became acquainted. Billy had been such a bully when we were growing up. He was two years older than I, and he had picked on me terribly throughout grade school. He used to chase many of the girls and me with frogs and beetles. Billy also jerked my ponytails all the time and always seemed to laugh himself into oblivion at the way I dressed. It was hilarious to him that my mom made me wear tights under my dresses and skirts. As we grew older, Billy began shedding that bullying personality of his and started to see me in a different light. I had blossomed into a very beautiful young woman by the time I had reached my high school years. Many of the girls in my class and on the high school campus envied me. Mother Nature had lavishly given me a graceful figure. The junior and senior girls allowed their jealousy to cause them to be very nasty toward me. Of course, I had nothing to do with attaining the figure God had blessed me with. Even though I possessed a meek and humble attitude and personality, they all still resented me. By my tenth grade year of high school, I had grown to like Billy. He had gotten a very attentive and generous character that I admired greatly. Billy had turned into an admirable young man that I now really cared for deeply. He walked me to all of my classes and carried my books, and he also carried my lunch tray in the cafeteria at lunchtime. He’d sneak up from behind and sweep me off my feet ---- literally, and we would steal sweet, tender kisses. Billy had a wonderful build and was a football jock. As tall and as handsome as he was, he had rippling biceps. The mere sight of him would make any girl feel butterflies in her stomach. He could have definitely given Mr. Universe a run for his money. The other girls at school were green with envy because Billy was with me. They would have given anything to be in my shoes----to have this hunk of a guy for their very own. Several months after Billy and I had been dating, he whisked me around a secluded corner at school and we shared the sweetest, most intimate kiss. Billy then pulled off his senior ring and placed it on a gold chain that he’d taken from his jacket pocket. “I want you to be my steady, Lynnie,” he said softly. “I love you.” It was then that Billy asked me to be his sweetheart ----- forever.Without hesitation, I said yes, because I realized that I loved him too. After Billy and I became sweethearts, the girls at school really envied me now. I was Billy’s girl now. “Lynnie!” a voice rang out, jolting me back into reality. As I turned, my aunt was approaching me. She flung her arms around me and gave me a loving embrace. “The ceremony was beautiful sweetheart. You look radiant,” Aunt Mary said, in a raised tone. “I hope that Billy and you have a wonderful life together and grace me with many nieces and nephews. With a mischievous smile, Aunt Mary added, “Let’s hope this marriage lasts longer than mine did.” My aunt k
Posted on 10/21/2008
read the blog

Why Some People Stay in Unhealthy (or Toxic, or Ab
Why Some People Stay in Unhealthy (or Toxic, or Abusive) Relationships? Why do people stay in toxic or violent relationships? While a healthier person might find it very difficult to understand why someone would remain the target of another’s abuse, here are a few things that I have heard from people (both women & men) in regard to being in toxic relationships: 1. “His anger shows he cares.” 2. “No one has loved me like this.” 3. “If I leave he’ll take the children.” 4. “I am so unlovable (bad, ugly, hurt, used) I deserve abuse.” 5. “My past is catching up with me. I deserve to be mistreated.” 6. “He is not abusive. I’m a slow learner.” 7. “God is teaching me: tough times are like lessons from God.” 8. “I cannot make it alone.” 9. “Relationships are never perfect. They all hurt in some way.” 10. “You make your bed. You lie in it.” 11. “Things will improve when we have children (get married, get a house, a job).” 12. “He’s really a good person. When I make him angry he can’t help it.” 13. “As long as he is sorry I can put up with anything.” 14. “Things are improving, he doesn’t hit me like he used to.” 15. “God will change him if I am obedient. The Bible says so.” The intensity, anger, aggression, in a toxic dance, places the victim on center-stage, and this focus is apparently experienced as some form of love. I believe that to use any of the excuses on this list indicates that the victim has lost the ability to love themselves first. My heart goes out to people in a toxic/abusive relationship that would use any of these excuses to remain in the relationship. Being a former victim myself, I recognize and can relate to all of these excuses. Back in the day when I was a victim, I used some of these excuses myself. Through the help of my family and my strong belief in God, I regained my positive self-esteem back ---- I’m a survivor. I gained back the strength, the courage to reach up out of the quicksand, and there were people there who reached back. There is help out there if you have the desire to seek it out. You can do this and you are worth it. There are many non-profit organizations whose hope and mission is to help empower individuals to achieve self-sufficiency, rebuild their lives, and ultimately help end violence within society. They can help you bridge the gap between being victims and becoming survivors.
Posted on 4/3/2008
read the blog

"When Does the Abuse End?"
In May 1995, I was a thirty-three year old woman who was in the process of getting a divorce. I had been in an abusive situation for nearly eight years. It wasn't only physical; it was mental and verbal as well. During part of this abusive period, I was pregnant. Then, it was really hard to say what I wanted to say about it. It seemed as though I had issues with communicating unless I was angry about something. I was angry about the fact that was going through a divorce when I never thought I would be. I figured that once I got married I would be so for life. What a laugh! I was married in March 1985 at twenty-three years old and the physical abuse started in June or July of that same year. It was slapping, punching, pushing, scratching, and all kinds of things that I never thought I would be going through. I always thought about leaving. I heard everything that people were telling me about my situation but, I would just filter out all information I didn't want to hear. Especially the information when they were telling me to leave. It seemed as though the more people told me to leave, the more I hung on to him. Looking for the good things that I knew was in him. Deep down, I felt that he was a good person but, he has issues that extended from his family. It took me some time to figure it out, but I finally realized that his problems are his problems to deal with. If he wants to better himself he has to want to do so it his own. Also, when you set out to change people, the only person that changes is you. Most time it's not for the best. The thing that woke me up to the kind of situation I was in was the last incident when I was hit in the head with an iron. I could have not seen it coming and not put my hands over my head to deflect the blow. That blow could have killed me. However, I'm alive and kicking today, but it still took time for me to leave. I stayed after the incident and was miserable because the relationship continued to go up and down. At times when we argued, I was scared to go into my own house. Several times when I did try to communicate to him, I told him that I felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own house and that is not how it should be. That always went in one ear and out the other. I lived on my own with my son for almost ten years until I finally married again in April 2004. I don't have to walk around like I'm walking on eggshells any more, but Every once in a while a "not feeling safe" feeling comes over, but it doesn't last because I won't let it. I will never again allow this man to have that kind of power over me again. If it had not been for my family and a few good friends, I'm not sure if I would have made it through this turmoil. My son had been a witness to a number of these events and to some of the outbursts that he had when he stated that he wanted nothing to do with us when we left. I thank God that he came out of this in tact because he grew up to be a very well-rounded, responsible, and compassionate young man. My getting us away from that situation gave us both a chance to heal and have a new life.
Posted on 4/3/2008
read the blog

Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is an all-to-common occurrence in today’s society, and wreaks havoc on the emotional and physical wellbeing of its victims. Domestic violence is not a disagreement, an anger management issue, or a normal part of an intimate relationship. It is a systematic pattern of abusive behavior with intent to gain and maintain power and control over another person. This includes dating, partner, spousal, and elder abuse, as well as abuse between present or former household members. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of their race, religion, age, socio-economic background, level of education, or sexual orientation. Domestic violence is a crime. Abuse is any behavior used to control or intimidate another person and can be verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual in nature. Emotional/Psychological Abuse is the name-calling, put-downs, threats, stalking, intimidation, degradation, tracking time, isolating the victim from family or friends, and forbidding the victim to work or participate in outside activities. Physical Abuse is pushing, shoving, slapping, kicking, punching, biting, restraint, hair pulling, strangulation, pinching, burning, grabbing, shaking, scratching, spitting, using weapons, and throwing objects at the victim. There is a cycle to domestic violence and it has a pattern that it tends to follow. There are three distinct phases to the cycle: tension-building, acute explosion, and honeymoon. The tension-building period is usually the longest period of the cycle, and is generally characterized by a high level of stress. The individual would become moody, sullen, fault-finding, and very critical. They would withdraw their affection from the victim, and belittled them, and make threats. Often times the victim would attempt to keep their mate calm and placated; they would become overly accommodating, agreeable, solicitous, and nurturing. The victim often times would become silent and withdraws from and avoids her family and friends. They would probably constantly feel as if they were "walking on eggshells." The acute explosion is usually the briefest period of the cycle, as well as most severe. During his explosions, the victim could get beat, or attacked by their mate with his hands or fists. They become extremely verbally abusive and humiliates and degrades the victim. The victim would often try to protect themselves any way that they could, and attempts to reason with and calm their mate. The honeymoon period might not exist in every abusive relationship. Duiring this period, the mate would apologize, cry, and beg forgiveness, make declarations of love, and promise it will never happen again. The victim often accepted the apologies, believing that it will never happen again, because the situation "seemed to be better." Violence in a relationship tends to escalate in frequency and severity over time without proper intervention. It typically beings with verbal and emotional abuse and is often not identified as violence. This can escalate to physical and/or sexual abuse which becomes increasingly more violent and potentially life-threatening. All forms of abuse should be recognized as violent and potentially dangerous. Through proper intervention and support from family and good friends, victims can find their way back the brink of devastation and despair if they have the desire to help themselves. Coming from a survivor of domestic abuse, let me tell you that help is out there for victims of domestic violence.
Posted on 4/3/2008
read the blog

Whoops!